ummmmmm I dunno

So....kind of a long day. I got woken up this am with a call from my neighbor wanting me to watch her daughter (home sick from school) for a couple hours. I couldn't say no under the circumstances (long story but her mom had to take her grandpa to surgery) her dad had to work a couple hours.

So I watched her. Its not like just watching any kid....I have known her since she was born....kinda like a little sister (shes almost 10).

Her dad ended up getting home in just enough time for me to get home and dressed, etc...and go to work.

Yeah........about work....so there is this new guy that works with me....I'm not too sure about him....I dunno its weird. I can't even say what I mean....because I don't even know! I promised him and a couple other people I'd go out with them after work. It was ok...It just so happened to be karaoke geeze it was kinda fun when they actually played some good songs, but geeze the freakin drunk people all it can say is owww it hurt...funny but it hurt.

One of the most acquired things is when someone is trying to play matchmaker. Ya know...." so I really think that you and so and so "click" blah blah blah" is it just me or does that just drive you crazy? I mean yeah so you think we might click but geeze, I just don't see why people think that they have to step in and start things for people.

I dunno...I guess I'm still just a shy little girl...HA HA....I just don't know....I mean this guy seems pretty cool, from what I know about him. I dont really know that much, and thats the problem. It's just weird, its like I don't wanna think hey maybe this guy would be cool to hang out with sometime but then its like geeze...I don't even wanna think like that because I guess its just hard for me give up control like that. By just letting my emotions out like that into something not secure it's just weird.

I was so tired tonight but I went anyway because he kept saying I had to go. I just don't know how to "read it" thats why I say I don't "get him. " We joke around and stuff but I dunno.

Well I think I've said "I dunno" like 20 different times, I am so freakin tired and yet I'm still here typing...Ok yeah I know I'm tired but its like I'm trying to figure it out and ya know what it's not gonna happen right now, I know that but it drives me crazy, I wish I could just be like so...whats going on?

Is there something going on or what? But no thats not me. I just gotta sit there right next to him and just kinda talk and graze his knee, look into his eyes......OH GEEZE I sound like I'm 12! Ya know what that doesnt matter. I know I am not as experienced with the whole relationship thing. Growing up I just didnt really care either way. I went out with a couple guys here and there, but nothing serious. I haven't ever had a serious relationship. I'm fine with that, but it just makes it different ya know. And especially not really knowing him at all. And the whole group factor was a little weird, I mean even if I was flirting with him a little bit...geeze there were like 5 other people sitting around the table too(including his brother who just showed up out of no where....I should introduced myself but I didnt) it was hard to talk because it was so loud.

You know thinking back about it we were all trying to figure out where to go and a couple of the people we all just taking their time and stuff and he was just like man we just go somewhere without them.(to me) And of course I just kinda acknowledged it but not really because it was weird for me and didnt know what to say...I know I sound stupid...but whatever! So what does that mean...

Well who knows whats going on. I don't work with him again until next week so i dunno. (opps there it is again)

And yet I'm still typing...ok seriously I gotta go. I have class tomorrow and thinking about this now isn't going to make a difference.
--woes me...