Anticippppppation

(Sorry that's from Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Ok, so I'm in anticipation for tomorrow to be OVER!! It's FINALLY the last day of class! I had someone work for me tonight because I didn't even have my final paper completed!

I got it finished, though, so "it's all good"! I'm just so glad it's almost over. I know it won't be for too long before we go back.... Those stupid hurricanes really made things crazy!

I know I've pretty much said this same thing in my last post, but it's true!!

So, my cousin "Ry" was here the other day, I haven't seen him in like a year or more! I didn't really see him that much, because I was studying for my stupid exam but it was cool to see him for a little bit!

Gosh, when we were little it seemed like (from what I remember) that we were all together like every weekend. Of course back then we lived a lot closer, but.... I've always had so much fun with them. They were like my brothers, not my cousins(ry and s) . Yeah, they aren't even my 1st cousins but they were the only ones that were my age in our family and our parents were close, so it was fun!

You know I pray that my cousins see me like I see them. I love them so much but sometimes I wonder if they think that all I do is think badly of them. My family is a lot more structured than theirs,(being involved in church, etc). As they were growing up their parents weren't as "strict" as our. (not that my parents are really that strict, but they do have limits and guided us more with what they wanted from us) But just because we have some differences doesn't mean I think that they are horrible people; just means that we are from different places.

I don't look down at them at all! I kind of looked up to them growing up, mainly "ry" just because he was older than me (only by like 10 months) but still older! I always thought that he was so cool, and couldn't wait to hang out with him (when we'd visit)! Yeah there has been things that have happened in Ry's life that I don't necessarily agree with (or want for me) but that doesn't mean I like him any less or think down of him.

And his brother "S" (I'm trying to use nick names here :o) He is only like 5 months younger than me. So we are all three really close in age and then of course my brother was born like 14 months after that, so we were all around the same ages as we grew up.

I guess the only real way to see how they actually feel, would of course be to ask them. (And see I don't get the "your judging me vibe" really from S, as I do from Ry. He is the main one I'm thinking about in this whole thing.) But I guess the easier way is to, look at the situation like I look at it with my other cousins (my 1st cousins). They are quite a bit younger than me the oldest is my baby sis' age (4+ years younger). Well, their family is like our family to Ry and S. (they are WAY more strict than us....they are MK's) (missionary kids)

So I guess if I look at it that way I can see that when ever I'm with my 1st cousins I do feel guarded and not sure if certain things I'm doing will offend them, or make them think "I'm the devil" (sorry another movie quote) And of course that's not even close to the truth, it's just we don't live our lives as "strictly". Not saying that either one of us is "better" we are just different.

So looking at it in that point of view, it does kinda give me a better perspective of what Ry feels like. I don't want him to feel that way at all, but I guess it's not really something I can control....

Ok, well that is the end of my little thoughts. I do hope that Ry comes up again soon, with S too, because I miss hanging out with them. Even though I (sometimes) get picked on like the little sister" I'm use to it! Ry and I always end up getting into some great discussion, but its always just a lot of fun!
--That's it for now